dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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