That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
