who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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