But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
