i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
