why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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