Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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