Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just made out with a guy for $7.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
