I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Please don't give away my fajitas
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
