am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
