Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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