I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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