Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just gargled with NyQuil
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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