that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
