I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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