This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
50% drunk capacity currently
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
