If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
