i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just had sex bonerless
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
