yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Life is so much better after having sex.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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