I'm lost and stupid without you.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
