I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
