Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
