i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
