JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
