Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
