She went from zero to smokin in five shots
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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