We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
