he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
