What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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