I feel great
I just peed on a car
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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