I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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