Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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