I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Four minutes until I can fart!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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