I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
