I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
