he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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