I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
