what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
