I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
