he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
