That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
