So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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