I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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