Fine. I'll sleep in my office
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
