Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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