dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
it hurts more in the daytime
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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