I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
