yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
