She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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