everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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