You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
