he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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