i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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