I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
