So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
