so let's talk penis.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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